So, I gave my notice a couple of weeks ago. The more and more I hear about the economic crisis, the more I worry about my decision. I have a good job with great benefits. Am I crazy for giving my notice so I can stay home with my 2 kids? Am I doing the right thing? From an eternal perspective...yes, but from a fiscal, real world perspective...no. Did I ask for an answer but instead of wanting to follow the Lord, I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear? Is he leaving me to do what I want because I am not willing to listen to what He wants?
I know my mom can't watch both Joseph and Samuel. I know we can't afford daycare. I feel uber guilty for wanting to leave now. Why not for Joseph? Will we actually sell our house? If not, we won't be able to afford the payments unless I keep my job. But then what would I do with my 2 precious boys if I do?
I have a righteous desire, but is it the right answer for me and my family? Confusion is of the devil. Am I confused because I am doing the right thing or is this a stupor of thought because I am doing the wrong thing? Did I think to ask but do no more on my part? Questions, questions, questions...
3 comments:
Yep, that's kind of how it has been for me...somewhat different thoughts/questions (since I haven't given my notic yet), but basically the same dilemma - hard to know if you are doing the right things and what is a prompting and what is your own desire.
2 Timothy 1:7 "For God hat not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
Peace be still. Things have a way of working themselves out in the end. And stop with the guilt already! You feel guilty when you're at work, you feel guilty when you're with your boys. Just live in the moment and be grateful to be wherever you're AT. Enjoy your blessing a bit before scrutinizing your trials. Guilt is such a useless emotion, especially in motherhood. Do yourself and your boys a favor and stop spinning. Live with no regrets.
Sorry, you probably weren't asking for advice but as a working mother of a baby (I'm the only one in my ward, all others are SAHM's) I have some strong feelings about this. These are just some of the lessons I've learned.
If you felt the spirit when you resigned and now you are confused, you did the right thing. It'll work out, just pray for more strength and guidance.
Good luck getting the house sold.
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