More in depth on Texas...

I finally have a moment to blog about my trip to Texas. Above is a picture of Samuel grabbing his foot and sitting up. He can sit up on his own for a few seconds at a time. He likes to grab his feet and he examines his hands all the time. He also pulls objects towards him so he can investigate them. The other day I had taken his pants to his ankles for a diaper change. I put on a clean diaper and went to wash my hands. I hadn't picked up his pants. By the time I got back, he had taken his pants off and was looking at them. He is so cute!
I will be writing the block in backwards order, only because I should have gone from the most recent pics and worked my way towards the older pics. This picture is in Utah on our drive back. It looked like a painting to me, so I snapped a shot as we drove by. This is fairly close to Price, Utah.
Our last night in Texas, April 20th, we drove to Corpus Christi to say goodbye to my grandma. We drove 3 and a half hours to get there, only to find out that my Tia Juana had picked her up and taken her to San Antonio and Austin. Tia Juana knew we were on our way, but they didn't wait. I was irked because that added 5 hours to our trip. It also would have been nice to see my Tia Juana because I haven't seen her in years. This is Joseph with my cousin Loretta's little boy, Dylan. He is 5. He and Joseph had a great time play fighting and punching. I think this makes him a second cousin to Joseph and my first cousin once removed??? Anyways.
This is me and my cousin Maria. We grew up together. We are almost a year apart in age. She would spend many a summer with me at our home. We would pick her up and bring her back. She is engaged to Abraham. I don't know when they will get married, but maybe I can attend her wedding. :)
I hardly have any pics of me and Samuel, so while we were at my Tio Oscar's house, I had Maria snap a photo of me and my little boy. He is so precious.
Grandma Nunez sitting on the steps of my Tio's house. This was where my Grandma Juarez lived before when I was little. I thought this was a very nice picture of my boys with their grandma.
This is Joseph with his Great Tio Homero. Tio Homero gave him the Houston Rockets cap as a gift. Joseph loved wearing the hat.
This is me with my cousins Leslie and Amanda. Leslie (in the middle), is a grandma. She is 34. Wow. She has 2 grandkids (she became a grandma at 31). She and I were really close growing up. Leslie is my Tio Ramiro's daughter. Amanda was a lot younger than I was. I only remember her as a little girl about Joseph's age. She is my Tio Esteban's daughter. I was thinking about us now. We are our parents in the sense that we are where they were at when we were Joseph's age. It is crazy how generations grow and up and new ones are born.
This is me and boys with their great-great Tias Nena and Tome. These are my grandma's 2 living sisters. We were so happy that they made it to the funeral. They are the bickering sisters. Tia Tome's son, Jimmy, brought them from Kingsville, Texas to be with us. It was really nice to see them. My Tia Tome looks a lot like my grandma. I also remember her being a lot taller when I was younger. It was amazing how different things looked coming from my adult perspective versus my childhood/adolescent perspective. Everything and everyone seemed so much smaller than I remember them.
This is the funeral procession. I need to get pics of us at the grave from my Tia Sylvia. Her niece, Erica, took a nice picture of me, Samuel and Joseph. I missed them putting my grandma's coffin in the grave because we got there and Joseph said he needed to go to the bathroom. The closest bathroom was the funeral home, so one of the workers drove us there. She is distantly related to John Taylor. My brother Esteban and I sang as we said our final goodbyes to my grandma. They gave all of us rose petals to toss into the grave. Joseph thought they were giving us candy, so he bit into the petal. He said, gross and tossed it onto the coffin. Erica's picture is of us tossing the petals into the grave.
These are my godparents, Oscar and Brushy. When I was a baby, I was baptized into the Catholic church. They have always been there at big occassions. They told me that their son, Oscar Lee, was having their first grandchild soon. He is going to name the little boy Joaquin Maximillian. The name reminded me of Gladiator.
Joseph absolutely loved my cousin Matthew's little girl, Kourtney. He wanted to play with her. He still asks and talks about her. He wants Kourtney to come visit him in Utah. :)
This is my Tia Gloria and my cousin Laura. We used to go their house when I was little. I used to love it because they had so many dress up clothes. This was the first time I had seen Tia Gloria and Laura since I was probably 7 or 8. Tia Gloria still looks the same.
My Tio Homero thought Joseph looks like Spanky from the Little Rascals, especially with his hat turned to the side. I couldn't get him to stop smiling for the camera.
Joseph totally reminds me of Joe as a kid in this picture.
This is a picture of Samuel's reaction to touching the Gulf of Mexico for the first time. He wasn't to happy.
This is the before picture of him touching the water.
Jospeh was having so much fun wading in the water and playing in the sand, that he didn't mind that his pants had sagged off his little bottom. The beach was a lot nicer and cleaner than I remember it being. The water is still as brown as I remember it.
Joseph playing in the sand.
The beach was a lot closer than I remember it being as a little girl. I thought it took forever to get there. In reality, it was only about 4 miles from the exit we would take. Everything shrunk (except the distance to Corpus and Utah). Well, by the time we got there, Samuel was hungry. This is him sucking on my arm after I took him out of the carseat. He was sucking on anything that came close to his mouth. I love that he sucks on his hands when he is hungry.
"Uncle Derek (my cousin Eric)," Kourtney, Tio Homero and my cousin Matthew with Joseph. This was on Easter Sunday.
My Tia Sylvia made Joseph an Easter basket from the Easter Bunny. He can't read this yet, so he won't know that it was from her till much later in the future. Thanks Tia! She did this without us knowing about it. It is greatly appreciated because I was stressed about what I would do for him for Easter.
Kourtney and my Tia Sylvia. I got to know my Tia and Tio a lot more on this trip. It was really nice to stay with them and spend time with them.
Tio Homero with Easter Bunny ears. This is a great picture of what grandkids can do to a grandparent. :)
My Tio Robert, my Tio Ramiro, and my dad. Most of the brother's together for the first time in years. My cute Samuel is in the pic too.
My brothers and me together with Joseph. This is the first time all of us siblings have been together at one time in over 3 years. Crazy how time separates families, but events bring us together, even if they are sad ones.
My dad with my cousin Amanda. My Tio Esteban's funeral was the last one that I had attended. It was in March of 1999. Time flies by.
Joseph with his cousin Jasmine. She looks exactly like my cousin Leslie looked when she was a little girl. Jasmine is my cousin J.J.'s little girl. Joseph loved her so much and looked for her everywhere. She sat with us at the luncheon the church members provided for the family after the funeral. It was great how the members served our family. Bishop Markham did a wonderful job of getting help and making sure we were okay.
Can you tell my parents were tired from the long drive to Texas?
My Tio Ramiro with Samuel. He is a great grandpa 2 times over. That is crazy to me. My cousin Leslie's oldest daughter, Savannah, has 2 kids. I only remember Savannah as a toddler. She is 18 and has a 3 year old and 1 year old.
Our first day in Texas, I took Joseph to the park I played at as a kid. They had a huge Easter egg hunt. They gave Joseph a "Don't Mess with Texas" bag to put his eggs in. The eggs didn't have candy but lots of little goodies. He also found a baseball since the 3 and 4 year old hunt was held on a baseball diamond.
We spent 30 minutes in Corpus on the night we got there. From the left is my Grandma Juarez, my cousin Maria, me and my boys, and my cousin Loretta. My cousin Loretta had her second baby in March, a couple of months after I had Samuel.
My Tio Felix, my cousin Johnny Joe, my cousin Jesus, my cousin Sofia, me, my cousin Crystal, my cousin Maria, baby Roger (another cousin) and my brother Esteban. What can I say...we come from a LARGE family (ha, ha, ha). ;) I hadn't seen my cousin Crystal since she was a little girl. I called her Spikey because that was her nickname back then. When she was a baby, her hair stood straight up. I hadn't seen my cousin Sofia or Johnny Joe in ages. My cousin Jesus looks like my Tio Blas.
I grew up with baby Roger. He lived the closest to my family. My mom is raising his nieces and nephew, my cousin April's kids. It was so much fun to see everyone. They all got together to say hi, knowing that we would only be there for 30 minutes. I am glad I didn't miss the opportunity to be with them, even if it was only for a moment.
Joseph on the car ride. He did so well. Here is entertaining himself with a spider that he lost in Texas somewhere.
Samuel was amazing on the car ride too. Here he is with his little blanket.

Joseph and Samuel together before we left. My boys are adorable and I love them soooooo much. :D

Short post

Last night I went into the room to lay with Joseph for a bit to help him fall asleep. He kept looking at me, so I finally asked, "What are you thinking about little guy?" He said, "I am looking at you." I asked him, "why?" He said, "I just love you." It made me smile and almost cry. He is such a sweet boy.

He was sick last year about this time. On May 2nd of last year I had taken him to the hospital for his super high fever. Soon after, he got a stomach bug. I put trash bags on the floor with sheets for him to sleep on because he was vomiting. It was next to our bathroom. Last night he wanted me to sleep in his room. I told him there was not enough room on the bed. He then told me we could lay blankets on the floor to make a bed like we did when he was sick. He still remembered it and it has almost been a year. That kid has a great memory.

Samuel and Joseph

Samuel is definitely exploring the world around him. He is trying to sit up on his own. Today at church, I had him on my lap. I had him propped up on my belly. He did a crunch and sat straight up. He then found my engagement ring and kept playing with it. It was cute to watch how much he concentrated on moving has hands to my hand with the ring. It was also funny because I went to the mother's lounge to feed him and 2 young girls were playing in the room. When they saw that I was planning on feeding him, one of the girls said, "I want to watch you start." Then she and her sister sat on the chair in front of me. I got out my Peanut shell to cover myself. One of the girls, the older sister, got up to help me put it on. She then got my face in her two hands and kissed me on the cheek. She then asked how long I was going to be so she could come back and visit me. I was really uncomfortable. I had him fed and changed before she came back. I had put Samuel sitting up on the chair while I grabbed my diaper bag. The little girl tried to pick him up. I picked him up before she did and asked her if she could help me by opening the door.

Joseph came home from sunbeams today and told me that his class was great. He said that he learned about Adam and Eve in the garden. When they were in the garden, they lived with animals and they were nice. There were tigers and bears and deer there. He then explained that Adam and Eve ate the bad fruit and then there were prickly things so they had to wear shoes. The animals were not nice anymore. It was so fun to hear him explain the lesson. He did a great job.

Dreaming about the stars

Joseph is starting to get into the planets and aliens thanks to the Magic School Bus. He know has rocks that he says look like asteroids. He knows that comets have tails and that they are made of ice and rock. Asteroids can't melt because they are space rocks. He found a shell in Texas that kind of looks like a rocket ship. He flies it to different planets. He also mentioned that we need to fly the fire ants to "Bluto (Pluto)." He then offered an alternate place to fly the fire ants. He said, "we need a rocket to fly the fire ants to a planet that has aliens. The aliens can eat the fire ants." He also remembers Mercury, Earth, and Jupiter. I don't know how to tell him that Pluto has been down graded and is no longer considered a planet.

He also helped me clean compound from the floor. He did a really good job...up until he found a paint brush with primer and painted the floor. I would have taken pictures except I was worried it would dry.

Joe's high-rolling night

Last night Joe got invited by the CFO and CTO of his company to go to dinner and a basketball game. He went to a restaurant called Fleming's. He said it was delicious. He ate a filet mignon ($60), a side of asparagus ($15), and water. They also had appetizers. Price Waterhouse Cooper treated them as a "thank you" for doing business. After dinner they went to the playoff game: Jazz versus the Lakers. The Jazz won. Joe and his company buddies were on the 24th row, right in the middle ($160). All in all, Joe had a great time. I am so glad that he was invited...he definitely deserves it.

I went to finish my exit interview today. I turned in my keys and my laptop. My last work day they had been planning a party for me. I had taken a half day, so they ended up having to cancel it. My interview was at 9 in the morning. Samuel had just woken up and was hungry, Joseph was hungry and "shirsty." They were both with me. Fun times. This reminds of something that happened yesterday. I went to pick Joe up from work. We got there 10 minutes early. The entire car ride there, Samuel was screaming. As soon as I parked, I got Samuel out. I unbuckled Joseph. He was out for less than a minute when he said that he needed to go to the bathroom. I was carrying Samuel and went to get Joseph. Then Joseph's nose started to bleed. I didn't have anything in the car, so I was running to the bathroom carrying Samuel, and holding Joseph's hand. His nose was bleeding a lot. It got over all of his clothes. Luckily, I saw one of Joe's coworkers. She went to get him. He grabbed Samuel for me and then I took Joseph to the bathroom to get him cleaned up. Exciting times! :)

Funeral

Last night was my grandmother's viewing. I stayed up late on Friday preparing the program and a recipe that we included with the program. Everything was very peaceful. The Restwood Funeral and Memorial Park were an amazing group to work with. I saw family and cousins that I haven't seen since I was a girl. I saw my Tia Gloria and my Tia Rosie. I saw my great Tias Nena y Tome. I saw my cousins Leslie, J.J., Irene, and Laura. I saw old church friends. All in all, it was fun to see so much family. My grandmother looked at peace. I spoke and sang a song. Joseph got up after me and said that he was going to say the closing prayer. I only understood that we are thankful for dinosaurs, that we are going back to Provo, that we are moving to New Jersey, that we won't get bitten by spiders. When I tried to stop him, he put up his pointer finger and said "No mommy, I am going to say a super long, long prayer." I had to get up and get him. He cried.

My Tia Tome saw me and said, "You've gained weight!" My Tia Nena said, "No se dice eso (You're not suppposed to say that)!" Tia Tome then said, "Well, she did!"

Esteban spoke at the funeral. He did a wonderful job. The Spirit was there. Surprisingly, he has a nice singing voice. Most of our family croak like frogs when we sing. :) This is my first time planning a funeral. I dressed my grandma in her temple clothes for the burial. She looked so beautiful. I will blog more later. We are going to Corpus right now.

Update

Well, my grandmother was taken off life support last Sunday. She passed away last night. I am happy that she is finally at peace and can rest with her Lord. Today I went to the funeral home and dressed her in white with my mom and two sisters from the ward. My grandmother looked so beautiful.

Joseph and Samuel were able to meet their great grandma. They moved her out of ICU. Joseph looked at her and said, "she is dying." I explained to him that she would be going to meet God and when she does she will be alive again. Yesterday we went to visit her. He said, "she needs to go to God so she can be alive again." He then proceeded to explain that she would go to God in the bed (he called it a car) she was in because it had wheels. He said that the doctor would push her there. Tonight my Tia Sylvia's mom came to visit and offer her condolences. Joseph went up to her and touched her leg. He then ran over to me and said, "She is alive again!" I think he thought she was his great grandmother.

I am in charge of planning what is happening at the viewing and also the funeral program. I had better get to work.

My boys

Just so I don't forget...Joseph has asked me to stop calling him cute. He tells me, "Mommy, I a big boy now, so I'm not cute, I'm handsome." How cute is that!

Samuel is napping right now and he just laughed in his sleep. So cute!

My Grandma Nunez

I found out last night that my grandma is going to pass away. She had an accident that left her brain dead. She is on life support. My dad and 2 uncles think that they should not sustain her on life support, but one of my uncles doesn't want to see her go. I can't blame him. She would have been 90 in October.

As I reflect on my Grandma, there are a few things that stick out in my mind. One, she made the best sugar cookies. It was always fun to go to her house because we knew she would have warm cookies for us. The second thing I remember is how she served her family through cooking and cleaning. She was a whirlwind of activity when she would come and visit us. No cabinet was left undusted, no hiding place was too good. She would whip through the house in a flurry of cleaning and washing, cooking and cleaning some more.

Her house in Kingsville was filled to the brim with pictures of her family. She added photos of them any chance she got. Her house was small, but it is where she reared 5 boys alone. There was only 1 bedroom in the house and 1 bathroom. I remember going to visit grandma when she worked at the tortilla factory. She lived during the Great Depression and her life reflected the hardships that she endured. Her life made her tough, so she wasn't always a sugary old lady. She was gruff, but she always remembered her grandkids. I could count on $5 for every birthday, no matter how old I was getting. The money was always accompanied by a letter of love.

I am amazed that my grandmother was able to raise 5 boys alone. My dad is the oldest. She outlived one of my uncles. Boy did her boys love her. I remember that every mother's day, we would all meet at her home in Kingsville. Her sons would chip in and get a mariachi band to serenade her at the break of dawn. "Estos son las mananitas, que canto el Rey David..." How I disliked the early morning songs because it disrupted my sleep. My grandma would smile so much. She was so proud of her boys.

I used to love the shed in the back of her house. Who knows what treasures are in there, but the one that I remember was a little fisher price school house. I loved to look at it. I don't know if we ever got to play with it, but it was there.

Grandma, I am sorry that we couldn't spend more time with you as you got older and our lives took us away from Texas. I have 2 wonderful sons that I wanted to take to meet you this summer. We were planning on visiting you after we moved from Utah. You would have adored your 2 great grandsons. Both Samuel and Joseph look like your son. I love you grandma. I know that we haven't seen you since Joe and I had our reception there, but you were always in my heart. God be with you till we meet again....

Worried

So, I gave my notice a couple of weeks ago. The more and more I hear about the economic crisis, the more I worry about my decision. I have a good job with great benefits. Am I crazy for giving my notice so I can stay home with my 2 kids? Am I doing the right thing? From an eternal perspective...yes, but from a fiscal, real world perspective...no. Did I ask for an answer but instead of wanting to follow the Lord, I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear? Is he leaving me to do what I want because I am not willing to listen to what He wants?

I know my mom can't watch both Joseph and Samuel. I know we can't afford daycare. I feel uber guilty for wanting to leave now. Why not for Joseph? Will we actually sell our house? If not, we won't be able to afford the payments unless I keep my job. But then what would I do with my 2 precious boys if I do?

I have a righteous desire, but is it the right answer for me and my family? Confusion is of the devil. Am I confused because I am doing the right thing or is this a stupor of thought because I am doing the wrong thing? Did I think to ask but do no more on my part? Questions, questions, questions...

Of teeth and tears

Yesterday was Joseph's first visit to the dentist. He was cranky because he was hungry, plus he is scared of doctors. They sat him down for some teeth x-rays and he cried. He has no cavities. In the pics of his teeth, you can see his adult teeth coming in. Crazy. I took him to a pediatric dentist. They had a playhouse, arcade games, and movies playing to entertain kids. None of it distracted Joseph from the fact that he would be seeing the dentist. I tried to explain to him for days what would happen, but he didn't want to listen. We even read a book about going to the dentist a few times. It is a Little Critter book by Mercer Mayer. It still didn't help. Joseph cried again when they went to count his teeth. The dentist seemed really nice. They told me that his top jaw is small and that room might need to be made for his adult teeth.

We went to get breakfast afterwards. He was so hungry that he was shaking. That kind of worries me. My mom thinks that he is diabetic. She thinks he pees too much. I tell her that he doesn't wet himself at night. He can last 10-12 hours of sleep without having an accident. I don't really think so. He complains of being tired a lot. I think it is because he might be anemic. I was borderline anemic as a child. Last night I went and bought him vitamins with iron. I will see if that improves his tiredness.