Delivery fears

Can I tell you I wish there was another way for the baby to come into the world. The transporter from Star Trek would be ideal. Of course, that won't happen. With Joseph, I was in labor from 10 at night till they had me start pushing at 8:30 pm the following night. Joseph's delivery took 3 hours. I am so NOT looking forward to delivery again. I don't want a c-section. I hate anesthetics...they make me super sick. I am scared that I will tear. I remember crying everytime I went to the bathroom for 2-3 weeks after Joseph was born. Of course, I know others who had it much worse than I did. I am just starting to freak out and have realized that I am kind of a wimp. I hate pain, vomiting, pain, worrying, pain. Eventually the baby will be here and I will be tired but grateful and less itchy.

I won't mention the other fears that creep into my mind. I wouldn't be able to sleep if I let myself think about it, plus it would make me cry. Tomorrow I start walking around a lot to help me progress more. I want the baby to come on his own and would prefer not to be induced (as long as I can have an epidural, it shouldn't be that bad. Not like last time). I will walk around and around now that the weekend is almost over. I guess there is the possibility that I will go into labor tonight.